dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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