we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
