my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
