4 words: hood of his car
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
