I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
