therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i think my cat just said my name.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
