I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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