whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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