just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
