He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
