Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
