I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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