i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
