I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
