I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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