I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
