you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
