Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
