This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
