Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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