I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
