Me. At least after what I've been through.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
