We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I wish there were birth control emojis
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
