I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
