I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
