My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
