I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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