I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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