brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
