Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i will never coherently bang her
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
