ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
