butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
