Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
