i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Alive.
So much puke
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
