I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
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