I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
