Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
