Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
