I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
