If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
