my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
