Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
