you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
