Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
