There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
