Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
