if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
