please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
