Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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