Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
