You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
