I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Mom said you looked used
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
