bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
